In Ug, love is equated with how much you spend on a girl. The more you spend on her the more she feels and knows that you care for her and love her. This is what I was told by the second girl I went out on a date.
This is a very new concept to me. As a returnee that wants to make sure that each dime lasts I find dating an extremely expensive affair that is only one way. By this I mean me spending, spending with nothing to show for it but a terrible bank balance. Welcome to Africa I have been told many a time. I seriously need to find a solution around this issue.
Having said that, the ratio of women to men in Uganda is high. They are extremely beautiful. The word ugly doesn’t exist in the lexicon vis a vie Ugandan women.
They look good and carry themselves with aplomb and stature.
Everywhere you look you see beauty in abundance. With this beauty comes caution, namely be careful these beautiful ladies a number of them are HIV positive and the ARV’s are making them look good.
These women don’t want you they want your money. Once it is gone you are gone too.
These beauties have many more men you are like one in 10 that she’s seeing.
I am yet to hear something positive. It is as if the women folk are a different specie to us men folk. There’s nothing that they do right except look a whole lot hot and beautiful.
It took me awhile to realize that my friend was referring to me. You see I had been advised that as a returnee and looking around for a partner I need to be aware of the following.
Just keep the correct company and you will be fine. Remember that you are a hot cake.
Be very cautious with our young ladies. Everything is about money here and we are talking big bucks. Also a golden man (meaning one in his fifties) is going to watch out what generation you target for a wife!
But there are some older not married ladies in our circles who would make good wives and give you peace of mind. By the time I got this advice I had already dated two ladies and I had spent some money on them. Their demands of what they needed from me varied from a new Smart phone, to a new wardrobe of clothes, to starting a new business a chain of Pharmacies, transport to and from work and the clincher I love you we can start a family together.
To me I took this as aggressive marketing right. However, when I was describing this to a friend I was reliably informed that it is desperation and returnees are seen as the glimmer of hope that will ease their predicament.
How then can one avoid such ladies?
The kind that milk you dry and professing to love you
I am told that it is the passage of time and that one has to go through such ladies in the dating game before you find the one.
The one, not the one to marry or be your partner, rather the one that will swipe you clean, professing her love for you, promising you a baby and then you would have evolved into a true returnee. I didn’t like what I was hearing and I made my views known. I had to short change this process immediately and I didn’t know how but I sure wasn’t going to be wiped clean. I couldn’t afford it financially nor could I afford it sanity wise.
The thing returnees have to undergo in the process of being immersed in the host country culture can be intimidating to say the least.
The more I paid more attention to the women folk the scarier I got.
Advice given was scary.
The caution given was scary.
Even fellow women spoke about their fellow ladies in such a way that I was left more petrified to say the least.
How then can one avoid such ladies?
I don’t know. But this much I know. I am not going to fall victim of them ladies that milk me dry.
To Be Continued….