November

rain
Raining cats & dogs

It is the rainy season in Uganda and what that entails is a change of many things.

It rains like cats & dogs. There are a number of things that happen and eventually show the presence of the rain.

From transport, to crops, to people, to agriculture virtually everything changes

The landscape gets the feel of lushness. It turns into a gorgeous green.

The roads, the marram roads that is, get slippery but at least the end result is that dust settles down and there is less dust pollution.

For some reason people get happier. I am yet to find the reason why. Maybe because Christmas is around the corner and everyone can be joyful and merry as the year ends.

There are some areas when it rains, it gets flooded because this in the previous life time used to be a wet land.

In November, the other thing is that it is the green grasshopper season.

 

green-grasshopper-images-cool-wallpaper-animalplanethd-com_

It is a delicacy of sorts and to be honest it tastes just like prawns. After the grasshopper, has been caught and fried. It has a very rich source of protein.

prawn-11979566

Source: https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/prawn-11979566.jpg

This is how the delicacy looks like ready to be eaten.

nsenene-grasshoppers

source: http://kabiza.com/kabiza-wilderness-safaris/nsenene-grasshoppers-are-a-ugandan-delicacy/

Happy November to you too with love from Uganda

 

 

Dating: Ugandan Style

speed-dating-uganda

source: http://proggie.ug/events/lets-mingle-uganda-speed-dating/

Women:

In Ug, love is equated with how much you spend on a girl. The more you spend on her the more she feels and knows that you care for her and love her. This is what I was told by the second girl I went out on a date.

This is a very new concept to me. As a returnee that wants to make sure that each dime lasts I find dating an extremely expensive affair that is only one way. By this I mean me spending, spending with nothing to show for it but a terrible bank balance. Welcome to Africa I have been told many a time. I seriously need to find a solution around this issue.

Having said that, the ratio of women to men in Uganda is high. They are extremely beautiful. The word ugly doesn’t exist in the lexicon vis a vie Ugandan women.

They look good and carry themselves with aplomb and stature.

Everywhere you look you see beauty in abundance. With this beauty comes caution, namely be careful these beautiful ladies a number of them are HIV positive and the ARV’s are making them look good.

These women don’t want you they want your money. Once it is gone you are gone too.

These beauties have many more men you are like one in 10 that she’s seeing.

I am yet to hear something positive. It is as if the women folk are a different specie to us men folk. There’s nothing that they do right except look a whole lot hot and beautiful.

Hot Cake:

It took me awhile to realize that my friend was referring to me. You see I had been advised that as a returnee and looking around for a partner I need to be aware of the following.

Just keep the correct company and you will be fine. Remember that you are a hot cake.

Be very cautious with our young ladies. Everything is about money here and we are talking big bucks. Also a golden man (meaning one in his fifties) is going to watch out what generation you target for a wife!

But there are some older not married ladies in our circles who would make good wives and give you peace of mind. By the time I got this advice I had already dated two ladies and I had spent some money on them. Their demands of what they needed from me varied from a new Smart phone, to a new wardrobe of clothes, to starting a new business a chain of Pharmacies, transport to and from work and the clincher I love you we can start a family together.

To me I took this as aggressive marketing right. However, when I was describing this to a friend I was reliably informed that it is desperation and returnees are seen as the glimmer of hope that will ease their predicament.

How then can one avoid such ladies?

The kind that milk you dry and professing to love you

I am told that it is the passage of time and that one has to go through such ladies in the dating game before you find the one.

The one, not the one to marry or be your partner, rather the one that will swipe you clean, professing her love for you, promising you a baby and then you would have evolved into a true returnee. I didn’t like what I was hearing and I made my views known. I had to short change this process immediately and I didn’t know how but I sure wasn’t going to be wiped clean. I couldn’t afford it financially nor could I afford it sanity wise.

The thing returnees have to undergo in the process of being immersed in the host country culture can be intimidating to say the least.

The more I paid more attention to the women folk the scarier I got.

Advice given was scary.

The caution given was scary.

Even fellow women spoke about their fellow ladies in such a way that I was left more petrified to say the least.

How then can one avoid such ladies?

I don’t know. But this much I know. I am not going to fall victim of them ladies that milk me dry.

babe-africa

source: Google.com

To Be Continued….

 

Daily Prompt: Test

via Daily Prompt: Test

The test in my resolve came right after she stopped communicating to me.

I was reminded of the article I read that goes something like this:

‘God by taking me through all this I know there’s something you are trying to teach me and I’m willing to learn.’

I am going through this test of silence treatment and I don’t know how to handle it

She’s my love

She’s my future & present

She’s gonna be my wife

She’s gonna be the mother of my Bambinos

I professed to her that I luv her

I professed to her that I will marry her

I am not too sure how much all this has led to her silence & quagmire

Life is amazing that way

africanus

source: https://twitter.com/hashtag/mysistarskeeper

 

Friends that make the world go around

Love…Love…Love

And so the day begun like any other but with the rigmarole that surrounds life.

Sun was seeping through the cracks and hints of warmth, despite the dreary insides, promised a new day.

As the clock ticked on and on and the snooze button having been hit a couple of times, it was about time, to get up and face the world.

Brushing my teeth and looking in the mirror I had to convince myself that I am who I am even if others do not think so. I had to motivate myself with all the propensity that I could muster to take on the world. You see I had been told by someone I really and truly love that she was no longer in love with me. All my postulations about the luv I had for the said lady vanished in thin air. The cool and calm way I was told that it is over felt like a hot knife slicing through butter. It was gut wrenching, confusing, debilitating and above all else my world just stopped.

When I fell in love there was a lot that really went on within the body. From the chemistry, to the hormonal imbalance that led to a natural high. Therefore, when, the object of my desire said that I am no longer in love and do not want anything to do with you, my self-esteem takes a major thrashing and I questioned myself till the cows came home.

You see I had heard that love conquers all and in the end the winner takes all. I had also heard that all is fair in love and war. To me all these schisms meant nothing to me at the end of the day.

I can understand that love of a parent and a child.

I hadn’t understood the consequences of love between a woman & a man until I faced a heartbreak.

I could not eat and yet I did not get hungry

I could not sleep my normal 6 hours and yet I was neither tired nor sleepy during the day

I put a lot of effort and emphasis into my running and martial arts. In fact, I looked forward to the two things.

At work I was like a zombie. I was neither here or there. I was on autopilot. The good thing was that I worked the graveyard shift (night shift). As I didn’t have that many distractions at work with my mind, it became a breeze.

The only issue I faced was that when I woke up I thought about the lady. Before I slept I thought about the lady. It was then I realized this is what love really feels like when it is no more.

Friendships that make the world go around

In my state of utter confusion, I resorted to ask friends for help. They responded well and came to my rescue with all kinds of advice some were extremely practical like go to this website and read. Others their advice was way beyond the level I was at in that I had passed the many levels of grieving, sorrow, anger and the like.

These two links though helped me a great deal.

The one link I was given to read that I found extremely helpful in my healing was www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201406/the-7-stages-grieving-breakup.

The other one was http://www.2knowmyself.com/10_ways_to_get_over_a_breakup_fast

The actual show of friendship that I really appreciated and helped me immensely to solidify my bond was the friend that invited me to his home for the entire weekend. Fed me, housed me, we drunk together to the wee hours of the morning and it was cathartic to say the least.

You see the lady has been my first love. I have gone out with many ladies prior to this nevertheless, she has been my first love.

The ideal was to marry the lady in 2016. But this will not happen because she married someone else.

A lot of questions arose and they still do.

I met the lady through a mutual acquaintance and the talking ensued. We talked and talked. We then met. She was a tall, brown, beautiful African lady, curvaceous and vivacious. It was the voice that got me on the phone however, on meeting her, the smile got me. We had a blast and in the process of knowing each other I realized this the one the I would like to marry. The more I was around her I did tell her that I would like to marry her, and the guy that I am I even set up a timeline of when and how it will all happen. As things tend to happen I fell for the lady and it felt so good. At last I could clearly feel what it means to be in love with another human being not a child nor a parent.

The year moved by pretty slowly as we grew to know and understand each other. The disparity in distance was cut short by technology. We both lived on two different continents. Therefore, the use of Skype, WhatsApp and WhatsApp phone really brought the distance down to a minimum. It was the best year in regards to love and romance. That is why when it ended the heartbreak was humongous, paralyzing and left me with more questions than answers.

I had to pick up the pieces and move.

Prior to meeting the lady, I was extremely guarded and made sure that it had to be the right one to let go and fall. Fall in love that is.

Love hasn’t worked out for me. The feeling is so good but I am not going that route again. Once bitten twice shy. The heartbreak has really messed me up big time. I have been advised that I will outlive my first heartbreak. In the meantime, I want to relax and let me go through all the motions of the heartbreak after all never say never.

Love…Love…Love

my-love-for-you

Source: https://twitter.com/odhiambostanley